Alternative Viewpoints: What's Wrong With the Modesty Movement [Version 2.0 Updated and Altered]

(source)

In many religions and religious sects, modesty--especially the modesty of women--is an important issue and strong rule. I've done small forays into modesty research in the past few years, but I decided to go more full-hog and make a post for you guys a few weeks ago.

    I was travelling, visiting family, and we went to a local-ish Hebrew gathering. It was a special day; there was going to be a guest speaker; one of the families was welcoming a new member into the world, and our whole family was together for the first time in awhile. The gathering took place in a Baptist church, which provided an interesting contrast with the tzitzit, head coverings, and traditional dancing. There was some singing, news-sharing, and a lovely meal. Then, I went to the bathroom. It was a lovely place--painted white with tasteful flowers on the sink. Inside the stall, there was a sign that said something very like, "MODEST. Not because I am responsible for others' sin. Not because I am ashamed of my Yah-given beauty. But because I am the DAUGHTER of a KING and act as a DIPLOMAT." Something like that.

     It bothered me a little. Okay, it bothered me a lot. For starters, I hate being preached to while in the bathroom. Who decided that was the best place to address these things? Secondly, I have a strong distaste for written "religious" things that cite or reference no verses. Thirdly, the logic of the writing did not make any sense. It's a non sequitur. I am a daughter of a king, so that means I must be modest? I am the daughter of a king, so I am automatically a diplomat? I have beauty, but I should cover it up? And that will somehow enhance the beauty, which is a modest thing to want? When I asked the males in our party if they had such a note in their bathroom, the answer was to the negative (even though men largely walk around in pants! Gasp!).

Modesty=Beauty? Modesty=Power? I thought modesty meant "the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities." But what do I know? (Source/source)

    Some time after that, I was visiting family elsewhere and visited another church--this time, Christian--and in their women's bathroom, on the mirror, was a note that said something like, "You are not the makeup on your face!" Well, thanks, note. Without you, I would never, ever realize that makeup and faces are not the same thing.

 Troubling Twist/Disclaimer
     This is an added piece for the 2.0 Version. Someone close to me said the original post was a little unclear and could be taken offensively, and I felt bad about that. I thought about the message I was trying to broadcast, and I have altered the post. This is the section to say, "hey, if your read the post the first time and had a similar reaction, I'm trying to make things right."
     Disclaimer: When I write these Alternative Viewpoint posts, I tend to take on a bit of an on-the-offense writing style. It might seem overwhelming and have the flavor of an attack. I want to be clear: I do not mean to attack people in my writings, but I do mean to attack ideas. I do not mind when a fully-informed adult person makes a choice or series of choices. I do not intend offense to those people in the slightest.
     However, I do not like misinformation. I do not want well-meaning people following a "rule" they think is a law when it isn't. I do not want my belief system slandered for things that it is not responsible for. I do not want people scared away from a wonderful way of living by the misinformation they may come across. I don't want people unhappy, following a way that is not necessary. I get angry at those things when they happen, and that shows up in my writing.

     The "Troubling Twist" is to make more clear the idea I wish to attack in this post. The idea is shown in the note I saw in the first bathroom and the quote by Jason Evert. In the modern Christian (and a bit Israelite, but I don't think it's nearly so bad) Modesty Movement, things have taken a troubling twist. 'Modesty' is being thrown around like a stylish buzzword, equated to beauty, power, status. "Modest is the Hottest" shows up as the first result when the words "Modesty" and "Christian" are typed into google. Blogs are written. Businesses advertise, "Look hot in our modest fashion!". We'll get a bit more into this problem later in this post, but I hope you can see the discrepancy.
     As a woman, I see another problem coming from this Troubling Twist; the uneven application of the modesty "rule" has frightening connotations. All over, men are telling women how to dress--That being modest will make them "sexy". That being modest will protect the men from their "impure" thoughts. This is part of the reason the blame for "rape culture" is placed on the doorstep of religion. And, they're right. This view of "modesty" makes it both a commodity and a deterrent. Is it sexy or not? This viewpoint encourages men to have no control over their own thoughts and actions, contrary to what the Bible says (more on that later).

    And, while men are policing, infantilizing, and objectifying the women who share their faith, there is nothing running the other way. Men are not being encouraged to be modest. There are some events Sven and I will never attend because the rules state "women must wear skirts while here"; Women can't wear pants, but men can.....just because (more on this later, too!). The Law of God applies to everyone*, but that is ignored. Rules are implemented, and traditions grow, and they are not Biblical. People striving to be good are misled.
   

[*Now, there are Biblical laws that apply to different groups of people. There are laws for priests, laws for widows, laws for kings, laws for men, and laws for women. However, these laws only exist where they specifically apply to the designated group. For example, women must do certain things once they give birth (Leviticus 12). This only applies to women, because women are the only people who can give birth. Kings are directed how to rule, because they are the only ones with that power. Clothing, however, is something everyone wears.]

 Looking at what the modern idea of "modesty" has become, it is necessary to ask--what is modesty? What does it entail? Who does it apply to? What does it look like?

What is Modesty?
    "Modesty" is certainly an important concept in the Bible; it is mentioned many times. However, only a small fraction of those verses deal with clothing. I Timothy 2:9 says, "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes". Isaiah 3:16-24 details a curse given to the women of Israel ending thusly, "Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding". I Peter 3:3 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes."
     These are the verses most often used to back up the "Women, dress modestly" edicts. However, deriving a verdict on "modesty" from these verses is narrow-sighted.
 
 Notice:

1. Not one of these verses comes from the Law. God did not deem this sort of thing important enough to include when setting forth the law for the creation of an entire nation. There's a law about birds' nests, but not about modesty.
2. Not one of these verses says "do not". I Timothy is a letter written to Timothy from Paul telling him how to spread the word of God to non-believers. Isaiah, though painting certain things in a negative light, never says "do not wear", but rather illustrates the outcome of vanity. I Peter talks about the source of beauty. Peter would agree with the "You are not the makeup on your face!" note; however, he does not say, "do not wear fine clothing". 
3. The laws detail clothing quality rather than clothing items. The women are not chastised for wearing too little clothing, but too much. It's a matter of allotment. How much money was spent? How much time was spent? What is the purpose of these clothes?

What Does the Law Say?

     Though there are no laws on modesty, there are laws dealing with clothing.

• Deuteronomy 22:11-12: “Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together. 12 Thou shalt make thee fringes upon the four quarters of thy vesture, wherewith thou coverest thyself.”
• Alright, so, no wool-linen blends. Got it. Nothing about modesty here.
• Deuteronomy 22:5: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God."
• No cross-dressing, I see. Nothing about modesty. (Check out this post by Sven for a more-in depth look at this verse and its meaning)
• Numbers 15:38: "Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:" (ah, tzitzit)
• Indeed, it is important to remember the Law, but this has nothing to do with modesty.
• Leviticus contains many rules about the washing of clothes, but that has nothing to do with modesty, either.

     So. We have laws about bird nests. Laws about washing. Laws about eating, drinking, and sleeping. Laws about using the bathroom. Laws of inheritance and genealogy. But not one law about modesty. Not one law that says "Women, you must wear long, heavy skirts" or "Women, don't you be caught dead in a tank top, thus saith the Lord". This shows that clothing choice, in the grand scheme of things, is not important. It is not important to wear a head covering. The choice to tuck or not tuck a shirt is not important. The distinction between "too low" and "just right" for a neckline is not important. It doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the will of God. It has no religious bearing.

Other Verses in the Bible
     Though there are no laws about modesty, it is important to consider the varied and vehement verses of the New Testament. Looking at them, braided hair is right out, as are nice clothes. Gold, pearls, and other jewelry is definitely bad. Let's look at some more verses, shall we?
     Proverbs 31 contains such gems as, "[A virtuous woman] girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good...Her clothing is silk and purple...she makes fine linen, and sells it...strength and honor are her clothing; And she shall rejoice in the time to come."
     Let's recap. The clothing of a virtuous woman is:

1. Strength (to act as undies!)
2. Silk
3. Purple
4. Strength (again!)
5. and honor

     Notice what was not seen. "A dress". "A long skirt". "Something that is modest!". "Something that does not reveal her beauty!". We see more descriptions about her actions and attitudes than her actual garments. She should be strong. She should be honorable. She should be strong; as Peter noted in I Peter 3:3; beauty does not come from clothes. She doesn't need clothes to be a wonderful person. She has the rest of her skills to recommend her. She would be just as wonderful dressed in a potato sack, but because she works hard, she has nice purple silk to wear. This also shows a small conundrum. The criticism towards women's clothing in the New Testament verses have to do with rich clothing, but the virtuous woman wears nice rich clothing. This shows the clothing itself is not the problem; the women wearing the clothes are. The virtuous woman is clothed in purple silk and strengthx2 and honor. The bad women are probably clothed in purple silk, self-absorptionx2 and haughtiness.

Sumptuous (source)

     Where Proverbs 31 smacks down any ideas we might have against nice clothing, Psalms does the same for jewelry and nice smells. In Psalm 45, David writes a "song of loves" that talks about a royal wedding. The bride is described in grand, flowering language, "...your garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia...so shall the king greatly desire thy beauty...the king's daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the kind in raiment of needlework..." David is often called "a man after God's own heart" even by the Big Man Himself, so it doesn't seem likely he'd compliment something so heavily that wasn't good. Similarly, there are many verses in the Bible that view gemstones and precious metals (pearls, gold, silver, etc ) in a very positive light, showing these things to not be inherently bad, either.

Bling bling. Traditional Hebrew wedding clothes. (source)

Common Arguments for Modesty, Debunked
     Well, now we know that there isn't a Biblical basis for wearing a uniform, because the clothes don't matter as much as the person wearing them. Let's look at the various reasons people use to support the modest uniforming of women.

1. Immodest dress promotes lust in men! This isn't fair, and a woman should have consideration for her weak male counterparts!
• Yeshua made it quite clear what he thought about this argument in Matthew 5:28. The blame goes on the luster, not the lustee, regardless of circumstance. Rather than assume men are weak, perverted things who must be protected from themselves, Yeshua believes men are strong and capable of self-control.
• (Also, this argument totally ignores the reverse--ladies lusting after men, à la the "strange woman" of Proverbs)
2. If you respect yourself, you shouldn't wear certain clothes!
• The biggest problem with this argument is its complete lack of Biblical basis. The Bible doesn't care much for self-respect.
• Also, as clearly shown by the verses of Proverbs 31 and I Peter 3, clothes don't any inherent connection to worth. A wonderful person can wear nice clothes, and a wonderful person may be dirty and dressed in rags. Self respect doesn't factor in.
3. Religious people are called to be separate from "the World", and the way to do that is through clothes!
• Interestingly enough, though most Christian and Israelite folk can quote exactly what I'm referring to, "Be in the world, but not of it", this saying is not a Biblical verse. Rather, it is a concept derived from a collection of verses. (Emphases mine below)
• John 15:19: If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
• In this verse, Yeshua addresses his followers, telling them they are not of the world by nature of their following of Him. He doesn't mention their clothes. 
• John 17:14: I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.
• Yeshua prays for his followers, again saying they are not of the world by default. There is no mention of clothes.
• I John 2:15: Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
• Here we get a little bit more of a cautionary rule, "Don't love the world!!! Aka clothes!" but the verse goes on to tell us exactly what "love of the world" is. Lust of the flesh. Lust of the eyes. Pride. Nothing about clothes. And, again, if clothes were involved in the lusting, it is the luster who gets the blame, not the lustee.
• The verse emphasizes doing the will of God--the Law--which contains no laws for modesty.
• James 4:4: Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
• Similarly to the verse from I John, this verse condemns getting on with "the world", but if you look at the beginning of the verse, it is addressed specifically to adulterers and adulteresses. One can commit adultery while dressing modestly in the meantime. One can wear provocative clothing and never commit adultery. The verse is not addressed to "Scantily-clad people/adulterers!". It's about action and not about clothes at all.
• Conclusion: We don't need to separate ourselves through clothing. We separate ourselves through our beliefs, actions, and following the "will of God" (which, remember, doesn't include clothing rules!). We are separate through our holidays, our diet, our behavior, and our hope. 
• Also, if we wanted to show how "different" we were though our clothing, we'd have to be much more creative; fundamentalist Christians are often indistinguishable from a uniformed Israelite. Muslims have us beat as far as "modesty" is concerned. Orthodox Jews dress similarly, but in more black. Mennonites and Amish people wear modest clothing and head coverings at all times. If I am indistinguishable from a Muslim/Mormon/Christian Fundamentalist because I rely on my clothing to separate me, I have a problem and need to read the Bible some more.
4. Israelite women in Ye Olden Days wore dresses that covered them from neck to toe! Why should we be any different? (Funnily enough, this argument is also used by Christians)
• This ignores that Israelite men also wore "dresses" during that time, and I've yet to see a modern Christian or Israelite man sporting a robe.
• They wore this type of outfit because everyone during that time in that place wore that outfit. It's what makes sense in a desert environment. Bedouins and middle-eastern folk still wear this type of clothing today. It keeps the sun off; it's breezy. (Also, how does this fit into the "set apart" bit, I wonder? Ancient Israelites look like any Afghani today. Food for thought).
• Israelite people in Ye Olden Days did a great many things, like burn their children alive, force their servants into sex slavery, commit idolatry, and a great amount of other unsavory things. The ancient Israelites doing of something is not enough for us to do the same. Abraham married his half-sister; should you?

Quick! Are they Muslims or Jews? Neither! Russian Orthodox! (source)

Logic
    To support our "modesty is not about clothing" idea, I wish to present a few logical conundrums. In the Modesty Movement, the modesty rules can often be viewed strictly, as the most important rule there is. Ask yourself as you read these questions, can a person be "modest" in these situations? Is modesty the most important aspect?

1. A person is injured in a grievous car accident. They need surgery on their abdomen. Is it immodest for them to receive this operation that will certainly require the removal of their clothing?
2. Your house is on fire. You run into the street. You are dressed in your pajamas, and they do not cover you knee-to-neck. Should you seek help to put out the fire or find a way to get full clothing first?
3. You are taking a shower in the morning, and you hear a cry for help outside your house. There is a person in dire need of assistance. Do you rush out to help them, or do you take the time to towel off and dress fully first?
4. Your child has a friend spending the night. The friend is bathing when they fall and hit their head. You hear the sound from the hallway, but you know the friend is naked. Should you help them or leave them to drown?

     Yeshua has a few things to say on this topic. 

     In Matthew 25:34-40, he says the following: “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"

      Yeshua focuses on the deeds of a worthy person rather than their appearance. Clothing has no bearing on giving a thirsty person water or caring for them when they are sick. These deeds could be done by someone covered from head to toe in a burka or a person on the beach. There is a mention of giving clothing, but the type of clothing is not specified, nor is the clothing worn by the giver described. The people who help "the least of these brothers and sisters of mine" are blessed by God. There is no clause that says "if they were properly dressed". 

She can help a person and be blessed for it (source)

So can she (source)

     When asked the greatest commandment in Matthew 22, Yeshua replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Loving God with everything is the most important; loving your neighbor is the second most important. Why? Yeshua tells us; because the rest of the law depends on these two. These are the source two, if you will. However, the Law does not contain any rules about modesty. Physical modesty has no bearing on the greatest commandments.

So, What is Modesty?

     This is the point where some readers may be jumping out of their chairs, believing I am endorsing nudity, or saying people can run around in lingerie. That, however, is not so. Let's revisit our question from earlier, "What is modesty?" Remember, there were many verses, and only a few had to do with clothes. There were, however, many many verses dealing with humility as modesty. Or, a mental modesty, if you will. Humility is written about in much vaster quantities than clothing. We are told to think of ourselves "with sober judgement" (Romans 12:3). We are advised to take a lowly spot rather than a high spot in Proverbs 24:5-7. Proverbs 29:23 tells us, "Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor". In Luke 22:25-27, Yeshua tells his followers they should serve others rather than expecting to be served. I Peter 5:5 shares this nugget of wisdom, "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." This theme is seen throughout the Bible. "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18), after all. Revisiting the curse from Isaiah 3, it begins, "The women of Zion are haughty", and then details their clothing. Their primary offense is not their clothing or their hair or their jewelry; it is their manner. They are filled with pride instead of humility. Haughtiness instead of honor and strength.

What Should We Wear?
     This is the tricky bit. If there is no law, no outline, no clear list of what to wear in the Bible, how do we know? I say, let your humility be your guide. If you spend more time and money buying and choosing clothes than anything else, you probably have a problem. If you ignore someone in need because you're saving for a new outfit, you probably have a problem.

Less of this.

     If your outfit is chosen to showcase or hide your arms/butt/legs/stomach, then it's probably not something you should wear. If your outfit makes you ask, "does my _________ look bad/good in this?" then you probably shouldn't wear it.  If clothes can make you feel good or bad, you are probably putting way too much stock into the way you look. I purposely included both positive and negative considerations for the body in these examples. I believe that it's quantitative rather than qualitative. If you're thinking about how you need to cover or flaunt x or y, you're thinking about your body too much and giving it a weight it doesn't warrant.

More of this.

     This may seem a little extreme. It's easy to follow modesty "rules" when you can point at a person in a bikini and say, "I'm doing better than them." It's harder to ask yourself how much time you spend on choosing and wrapping your head-covering or doing your hair, and why. It's hard to think about your exercise habits--health, or vanity? It's hard to compare your time spent daily on your appearance compared to your time spent directly helping others. It's hard to not think about how you look, the impact you make, how you fit in or stick out; it's a rather human thing to be concerned with yourself. It's hard to be humble, but that's what God cares about. That is humility. That is modest.

Conclusion
     Wearing a uniform doesn't make one a good person. It doesn't make it easier or harder to be a good person. A person in a skirt can lie just as easily as a person in pants. Forcing a dress code for a religious event does not make people more holy; instead, if forces the focus to people's clothing rather than their actions. Our actions and attitude are more important than our clothes; we should shine no matter how we are dressed. Clothing is not meant to be a crutch to draw attention to our behavior.
     The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 wears silk and purple. King David, the man after God's own heart, danced half naked in front of his entire kingdom, and when his wife criticized him for his immodesty, he told her he was dancing for the Lord, not the people. It is implied she was stricken with barrenness for her criticism. [Note; in the verses, it says specifically that David wore a "linen ephod", which is a full-coverage garment. So, contrary to the image in the picture below, when his wife said he was "half naked", it's likely that David danced so hard he flashed the populace rather than stripping down to a loincloth to boogie]

"Put my hands in the air, wave 'em like I just don't care"-David (source)

The high priests of Israel were commanded to deck themselves out like a treasury room. Adam and Eve, the original people, created in God's own image, did not wear clothes until they decided they were ashamed of their nakedness and attempted to improve upon what God had already declared "good". Clothing is, quite literally, a human construction.

Answer: Well, according to Hebrews 4:13, we're all naked to Him, anyway. So, yeah, I would be. (source)

So let's make it less about clothing and more about deeds. More about strength (x2!) and honor than the length of a skirt or the expanse of a head covering. Let's care less about what we wear and how we wear it. Let's focus on the soul of people rather than their circumstance. Let's look at how people follow what's (actually) in the Law instead of some construction of mankind. Instead of keeping people out of our spaces and places because of how they dress, let's invite them in, because, as Yeshua said, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17).